Wow, you eloquently described so many of my feelings through the years. I am A single, never married 57 yo, Christian woman. I have been in ministry as A leader over the years but have struggled to not feel "less than" in the church because they honestly don't know what to do with us. I have tried to pour into others significantly because of my gift, that is singleness--having more time for God. I do know that God did change my heart at some point, be cause I stopped having the persistent longing for my godly husband. But, of course, I still wrestle with feelings of loneliness and "aloneness", at times. Especially now that I'm almost out of my 50's--aging alone is A whole new challenge. Anyway, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing many things that I can respond with "me too". Blessings! -MJ
Being single without God in this world is disastrous. Being single with God may be challenging, but He will never leave us or forsake us. Paul reminds us to be content wherever we may be in our journey with Him.
I just attended a wedding for my best friend that was a widow and struggled financially and God provided a Boaz for her. He is 81 and she is 74 and whatever life they have left they will enjoy it by serving the Lord together, and I rejoice with them.
I was widowed at age 40 and never wanted to marry again. It is a struggle in a marriage when one serves the Lord and the other doesn’t. Then God drops a man in my life at age 50 who loves the Lord but takes him home shortly after the marriage and I became a widow the second time. I don’t say all of this to feel sorry for myself in anyway. I say it to say at 77 years of age God still knows what I need and has provided. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.
Our church does uplift the widows and single women. They assign a deacon and his wife to each single women to help her with minor repairs, encouragement and have a listening ear. God is Good All the time.
Yes, I am blessed, and, yes, these things I wrote need to be said--not because anyone is desperate for a mate, but because it's important to actually SEE where people are. I've been far from sitting in a corner. But don't miss what I said, too--it's more than having a mate. Ministering to singles is ministering to them where they are--without a mate, not ignoring them, not failing to recognize their uniqueness or failing to recognize singlness, and not painting a picture where they are not quite "there" like the real, courageous Christians. It's great that your church does what you do. How cool, and that's definitely a blessing. I hesitated to write it because people often get the wrong idea and see it only as people complaining, etc. There's so much more to it, and we have to understand that because it's that lack of understanding that causes people not to speak. So thank you for sharing your story, and God's continued blessings on you and your church!
A courageous and eye-opening article. I pray that the Church, our brothers and sisters, understand and receive the raw honesty in this post. The truth you shared is freeing and healing for everyone who reads this!
Very well said! You put into words so many things I have felt through the years & still feel. Thanks for being courageous to speak the truth! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
I think about single people a lot. I have single friends. One is like a sister to me - though a widow. She is single. My other single friend is 70ish and still hoping to get married (I think). I think you are so brave! And I have been silent to laud you for all you have done and are doing! Your devotion to God and how you have rolled with the punches, so to speak. I admire you greatly, and I pray for you.
Jenny, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment and for your encouragement. Hearing that you pray for me means more than you know. God bless you.
We need more single people who are devoted to our Lord. In Catholic terms, people have a vocation to a religious life (priest, monk, nun...) or to marriage. Paul says, "Yet to those who are unmarried or widowed, I say definitely that it is a good thing to remain unattached, as I am." Thank you for following your vocation and staying faithful to God.
Thank you for this! For the first time I feel seen. I choose to be single and that doesn’t mean I’m less than because I am. Being single absolutely takes courage, HUGE courage, especially when you own a home with one income and one person doing EVERYTHING to maintain that home, from dishes to mowing to repairing your washer and dryer or making sure your car is taken care of. Oh let’s not forget all we have to do just to make sure we stay safe during bad weather! Singleness is not a luxury as some may think it’s just another aspect of life and needs to be recognized as such. We’re not flawed or less than. Thank you again for writing this. Much love to you sissy. ❤️
Thank you, Adrienne. I totally identified with your words. They were not for naught. I didn't feel like I needed to apologize for being single, today. May God Bless You!
Wow, you eloquently described so many of my feelings through the years. I am A single, never married 57 yo, Christian woman. I have been in ministry as A leader over the years but have struggled to not feel "less than" in the church because they honestly don't know what to do with us. I have tried to pour into others significantly because of my gift, that is singleness--having more time for God. I do know that God did change my heart at some point, be cause I stopped having the persistent longing for my godly husband. But, of course, I still wrestle with feelings of loneliness and "aloneness", at times. Especially now that I'm almost out of my 50's--aging alone is A whole new challenge. Anyway, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing many things that I can respond with "me too". Blessings! -MJ
Thank you for sharing.
Being single without God in this world is disastrous. Being single with God may be challenging, but He will never leave us or forsake us. Paul reminds us to be content wherever we may be in our journey with Him.
I just attended a wedding for my best friend that was a widow and struggled financially and God provided a Boaz for her. He is 81 and she is 74 and whatever life they have left they will enjoy it by serving the Lord together, and I rejoice with them.
I was widowed at age 40 and never wanted to marry again. It is a struggle in a marriage when one serves the Lord and the other doesn’t. Then God drops a man in my life at age 50 who loves the Lord but takes him home shortly after the marriage and I became a widow the second time. I don’t say all of this to feel sorry for myself in anyway. I say it to say at 77 years of age God still knows what I need and has provided. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.
Our church does uplift the widows and single women. They assign a deacon and his wife to each single women to help her with minor repairs, encouragement and have a listening ear. God is Good All the time.
Truly Blessed
I'm so sorry for your loss, Karen.
Yes, I am blessed, and, yes, these things I wrote need to be said--not because anyone is desperate for a mate, but because it's important to actually SEE where people are. I've been far from sitting in a corner. But don't miss what I said, too--it's more than having a mate. Ministering to singles is ministering to them where they are--without a mate, not ignoring them, not failing to recognize their uniqueness or failing to recognize singlness, and not painting a picture where they are not quite "there" like the real, courageous Christians. It's great that your church does what you do. How cool, and that's definitely a blessing. I hesitated to write it because people often get the wrong idea and see it only as people complaining, etc. There's so much more to it, and we have to understand that because it's that lack of understanding that causes people not to speak. So thank you for sharing your story, and God's continued blessings on you and your church!
A courageous and eye-opening article. I pray that the Church, our brothers and sisters, understand and receive the raw honesty in this post. The truth you shared is freeing and healing for everyone who reads this!
Thank you, Kiya. I appreciate that.
Very well said! You put into words so many things I have felt through the years & still feel. Thanks for being courageous to speak the truth! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
I appreciate you weighing in, Elzena. Thank you, and prayers for you also. 💕
I think about single people a lot. I have single friends. One is like a sister to me - though a widow. She is single. My other single friend is 70ish and still hoping to get married (I think). I think you are so brave! And I have been silent to laud you for all you have done and are doing! Your devotion to God and how you have rolled with the punches, so to speak. I admire you greatly, and I pray for you.
Jenny, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment and for your encouragement. Hearing that you pray for me means more than you know. God bless you.
We need more single people who are devoted to our Lord. In Catholic terms, people have a vocation to a religious life (priest, monk, nun...) or to marriage. Paul says, "Yet to those who are unmarried or widowed, I say definitely that it is a good thing to remain unattached, as I am." Thank you for following your vocation and staying faithful to God.
I'm not sure this is my vocation, but it is certainly my heart to be faithful to God single and even if married. God bless you!
Thank you for this! For the first time I feel seen. I choose to be single and that doesn’t mean I’m less than because I am. Being single absolutely takes courage, HUGE courage, especially when you own a home with one income and one person doing EVERYTHING to maintain that home, from dishes to mowing to repairing your washer and dryer or making sure your car is taken care of. Oh let’s not forget all we have to do just to make sure we stay safe during bad weather! Singleness is not a luxury as some may think it’s just another aspect of life and needs to be recognized as such. We’re not flawed or less than. Thank you again for writing this. Much love to you sissy. ❤️
Thank you, sissy. I appreciate your comment and you.
You know, I needed this. Thank you, Adrienne, for this powerful truth. Courage.
Thank you, Martha! I needed it, too. It's been a fight lately. I'm glad it was a blessing to you.
Thank you, Adrienne. I totally identified with your words. They were not for naught. I didn't feel like I needed to apologize for being single, today. May God Bless You!
Thank you, Yankee49, and God bless you with your heart's desires.