My Supportive Thoughts and Constructive Criticism Concerning Harrison Butker's Commencement Address

Harrison Butker, the kicker for the champion Kansas City Chiefs, rattled some cages by making a traditional values-laced commencement address last weekend at Benedictine College in Kansas. In the culture we live in, the outrage is to be expected. Butker undoubtedly knew his message would be negatively highlighted, but to his credit, he did not let that deter him. Instead, he used his God-given platform to speak boldly to the young men and women who sat before him. I have some supportive thoughts as well as some gentle constructive criticism.

While I am a Christian, I’m not Catholic. So Butker’s comments about his “embrace of the traditional Latin Mass” and his reference to “the one holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church,” adding, “for this is the Church that Jesus Christ established” don’t resonate with me. However, what does resonate with me generally are his devotion to his faith and his belief in the family.

After hearing a soundbite of his speech and hearing accusations of sexism and bigotry, I wanted to hear it all, so I took the time to watch. I knew from the start why some were angered by his words. Even if he hadn’t said what he did that sparked fury, mostly from far-leftists, he would have been sharply criticized anyway. Folks were highly offended, I’m sure, before he even got to the part that people are misrepresenting as “women ought to be barefoot and pregnant.”

Early in his speech, Butker touched on “COVID,” “bad leaders,” “bad policy,” “abortion,” “IVF,” “surrogacy,” and “euthanasia.” Throughout his speak, he pointed out what he described as “degenerate cultural values.” He alluded to people and policies that have contributed to the decline of our society, which have been either initiated or pushed by Democrats. It’s not hyperbole to label his speech highly “political.” I put that word in quotations because I believe that these issues go beyond politics but are, in reality, spiritual in nature and that choosing the stand we take concerning them through the lens of political parties and preferences is one of the most careless things we have done.

The Chiefs’ kicker went on to mention people who have graduated and “ended up moving in with their boyfriend or girlfriend prior to marriage.” In other words, he called out mankind’s sin, and, as we know, people don’t like their sins messed with, even if they weren’t in the room and he wasn’t speaking directly to them. They still know he was speaking directly to them.

As a man of faith, he observes all that is plaguing society in the light of God’s character and Word and sees the beautiful potential of these graduates in that same light. People have to understand that he is a Catholic speaking at a Catholic commencement; therefore, sharing Catholic values should not be anathema. The applause at the most so-called controversial part of his speech demonstrates that those in the room—many of them, at least—did not find his comments distasteful or misogynistic.

This is the excerpt of which I speak. He said:

I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.

What jumped out at me as I first heard this portion in a soundbite is the part where he said his wife would say her life started when she became a wife and mother. This is an area where I offer gentle constructive criticism. This could have been better articulated, as I disagree vehemently with the perspective in the manner it was stated. I have encountered and confronted this mindset many times within the church during my years doing singles ministry with women who desire marriage and children but have not met that special person. And then there are married women who would love to have children but have not been able to. The last thing the church (and when I say “the church,” I’m not saying Catholic church alone, as some use that terminology) should tell any of these women is that they have not started living yet, that life begins after they become a wife and mother. That mindset has resulted in depression, feelings of being less than, and even settling for unhealthy relationships. In other words, that mindset is wrong. With Christ, no one is waiting to start living. Our lives are in Christ alone. The message that the church often fails to articulate is that what matters is being in the will of God for our lives, and that looks different for different people. Even with this gentle constructive criticism I offer, I do acknowledge that he said this is how his wife feels. Having said that, it does seem he was making a statement that goes beyond his wife and into what he and she clearly believe is best for society.

I hear a lot of this from conservatives, some of whom castigate women if they aren’t married by the ripe old age of 25, calling them selfish and lovers of career rather than family. Again, not every person has made a conscious decision to shun marriage and children; they’re playing the cards they’ve been dealt. And, of course, some women have, in fact, decided to pursue careers and to either postpone or bypass marriage. And unless one knows what God has called each person to, it’s often best not to point fingers as some conservatives are doing more and more of lately.

Butker’s speech also delved into calling out diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI); the media; and absentee father rates. He hit as much as anyone could hit in a 20-minute speech. There was something for everyone who could possibly be offended—particularly those on the far-left—to be offended about. His speech addressed aspects of society that need to be changed from the inside out. But some people would rather deal with symptoms than the root. They don’t want you telling them not to shack up; they’d rather fight for the right to abort after the consequences of shacking up show up. They don’t want you talking about fatherlessness; they’d rather make excuses when violent lifestyles ensue. Butker, however, obviously recognizes that God’s principles can be a deterrent, not just a cure.

Today’s culture actually calls for the NFL to cancel a man for speaking to Catholics about Catholic principles, and they’re pretending that he hates women and desires to relegate them to the kitchen and the bedroom only. What I see is a man who loves God, loves his family, and desires to show honor to both. And even while I disagree with some of what he said—or at least how he said it—I do not disagree that Christ is the answer to every issue, a mother and father raising their children is most beneficial to that family and society as a whole, and we have to unveil the lies that mislead both men and women.

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Another gentle piece of constructive criticism is that I’m not so sure this was the best place/time for the content of his speech. It does seem to be a bit “off” for a college graduation. These women have just spent thousands of dollars getting their degrees to become teachers, lawyers, doctors, or whatever disciplines Benedictine College offers. The time to share that his wife feels her life didn’t start until she became a homemaker is likely long before college graduation day; my guess is somewhere around freshman year in high school. If we really want to convey to young women that it is admirable to desire being a wife and homemaker, that needs to be an early message, and it needs to be reinforced throughout the years.

Simultaneous with sharing that message, however, this most valuable message must also be shared—and that is that always, always, the right thing is the God-thing. With that in mind, encourage them to get connected to God, stay connected to God, allow that relationship to order their steps and direct their paths. In other words, let His values be their values. And though I’m saying “their,” it’s more accurate to say “our” because this is a lifelong message for everyone and should never get old, outdated, or woke-ified

Watch Butker’s full 20-minute speech here, and read the transcript here.

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